The original one I heard.

A joke about celibacy:

Pope John Paul II dies. He gets to Heaven and asks Saint Peter if he could look up the original version of the Bible because he’d always wanted to make sure the monks in the monasteries had copied it down precisely.
St. Peter says, “Certainly Pope John Paul II. Over there you’ll find the original manuscript of the Bible.”
John Paul II thanks him and off he goes to look at the manuscript. About 3 hours pass when all of a sudden, a loud cry and then sobs of moaning are coming from the room.
St. Peter rushes in and says, “What is wrong Pope?”
John Paul II says, “It says CELEBRATE… not CELIBATE…”

``Really, Mr Collins,'' cried Elisabeth with some warmth, ``you puzzle me exceedingly. If what I have hitherto said can appear to you in the form of encouragement, I know not how to express my refusal in such a way as may convince you of its being one.'' - Pride and Prejudice
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