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I don't have suicide impulses or low esteem.
I said 'or maybe.' I said that because during my time with suicidal counseling, we learned that some psychiatrists say that 'most people at least occassionally have suicidal impulses' and some say 'EVERYONE has suicidal impulses at least once in a while, but it's impolitic to say so.'
And I am trying to figure out why you figure self-sacrifice shows a lack of pride.
The guy that throws himself on a grenade to save everyone else in the trench doesn't do it because he's feeling low and the enemy finally provides an opportunity to slay himself...

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I am trying to roll you over in debate. But you logic is irrational.
Then show me proof that your logic rests on facts.
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you can't figure the reality. It is you who have self esteem problems because you try to attack the person instead of the argument.
Now, did i say 'you must be suicidal to think that!' ?? I offered two possible reasons that you might be making such an assumption. And it is an assumption.
People doing what they have been taught is necessary to get to Heaven aren't the same as people that make life-threatening attempts to garner attention from friends and family.
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That is how a low esteem monkey behaves, because he can't think. I am out of here.
Monkey? I thought we'd established that I was an ape?